I was reaching out to some leaders this morning inviting them to be apart of the Community and I began to think about why I’m doing this and why others may think I’m doing this and suddenly an experience that I had came rushing to the front of my mind.

 

When I worked in the prison system I met a Lieutenant a white male. As soon as I met him I knew there was something about him. I instantly felt a connection. As time progressed we talked in passing and I discovered he was a believer and we talked about the Lord from time to time.

 

He got promoted to Captain and went to another prison. Then something strange to me happened God showed me some things about him in a dream. I asked God for interpretation and of course I prayed for him. I was led to track him down and tell him what God showed me. He thanked me profusely.

Then he got promoted to Asst. Warden then Warden and moved again. Now God is giving me at least 2 dreams a year concerning his life. Some were disturbing others were encouraging and I prayed and prayed for him over the course of several years. When I was led no matter where he was in the State of Florida working I tracked him down and either emailed or called him to let him know what God was saying and tell him that I’m praying for him and that God loves him. He always was receptive, appreciative and confirmed all my dreams were accurate.

 

Till A couple of years ago I got on Facebook and saw R.I.P. beside his name and a picturemy heart dropped. He committed suicide. I don’t know why. I don’t know what happened and never will. I do wish I could just ask him whywas there no one he could talk to? Was whatever you May have did unforgivable in your mind?! You that spent years, leading, directing, guiding, teaching, sacrificing, correcting, pouring???

 

So that’s what drove me to tears this morning. I saw a man serve others in leadership at a high level, he was saved and had a call on his life. He served in church and yet still the pressures of life somehow consumed him and he saw no other way out of his circumstances but death. Lord howLord why?! You had me praying!!! You had me calling and emailing??? And he still didn’t make it God why??!!

 

I had to accept I’m not responsible for the outcome but to Obey no matter the end.

 

Building this Network & Community as led by God has been a burden for me but if only one Leader is encouraged to Live, Laugh, Love while leading to get help when they need it, to not overlook themselves our labor is not in vain as a Community!

My heart. My morning story.

Lead well. Live well.